Super Mario RPG is an incredibly easy, incredibly fun RPG that I've played through many times during my years. Sure, I won't see anything this time through that I didn't already on the first half dozen romps, but I won't let that stop me.
Quick note, before I dive in: in order to prevent an individual post from becoming ridiculously long, I'll post the journal in parts; one will come every five or so hours that I play.
Day One
0:01
What's my name? Why, Mario, of course!
0:02
I remember being really impressed with this quasi-3D, clayish looking opening the first time I saw it.
0:03
After fighting my first battle in the opening sequence, I'm reminded that I get no XP at this point in the game. Looks like I'm skipping the rest of these!
0:04
It's funny how easy it is to do the timed attacked on offense, while on defense, they can actually be a little tricky. My first time through the game, I actually didn't even realize you could do them on defense.
0:06
I think the best thing about this game is Mario's facial reactions to the things around him. He may be a silent, but he expresses far more in this game than most video game characters with full voice acting.
0:10
Yada yad, tutorials. Probably useful if you've never played a game before, but for someone who has been through Mario RPG a half dozen times, not so much.
0:12
Spoiler alert: that giagantic sword that attacked Bowser's castle is NOT the main enemy. I remember this actually being a bit of a shock during the first playthough.
0:13
More tutorials, which this time I can skip, gladly.
0:14
Finally, it's time for the game to actually start! Always the most annoying part about RPGs in my opinion, getting to the point from when you first start a new quest until the actual gameplay begins.
0:15
I forget this isn't Paper Mario, and that you cannot get a free hit in on enemies by jumping on them in overworld. D'oh.
0:18
My first level up, huzzah. I can choose between a power, HP, and magic bonus. The power and HP bonuses are fairly meager, while the magic bonus looks pretty solid, so that's what I'm taking.
0:19
I like the little spinning flowers you can launch yourself from. They could have just as easily have put slopes that take you up to the cliffs, but this is more interactive.
0:22
First boss time! Fittingly enough for a Mario game, it's a pair of hammer brothers. They'll be cake.
0:24
Despite my previous comment, these guys actually hit pretty hard if you don't get your timed defenses right. You won't die either way, but it can be closer than you'd expect a first boss fight to be.
0:25
Hammer brothers are dead. My rewards are a Flower Jar (both fills up your FP and increases the max) and a new hammer weapon. Certainly better than walking around unarmed, that's for sure.
0:26
On to the Mushroom Kingdom! There's a bunch of stuff to do here throughout the game, though I don't think much of it can be done now.
0:32
Highlights of walking around: a kid who goes nuts when you tell him you think he'll be able to jump as high as you someday, a young engaged couple you'll meet again later, a few hidden treasure chests (which, since I'm doing this without a walkthrough, I'm likely to miss many of), an shopkeeper who sasses you for talking to him behind the counter, and best of all, the kid playing the Game Boy who yells at you for messing him up if you keep talking to him. Ah, so true to life. Off to the castle.
0:34
Absolutley f'n hilarious: Mario acting out the entire opening of the game on his own to explain the the chancellor. The includes playing Bowser, the princess, and the giant sword. This is just the first of many such reenactments, all of which are great.
0:39
Highlights from inside the castle: a hidden chest that nobody in the world would ever have found without some kind of strategy guide, ruffling through some of the princess' private things (and being paid off by an attendent to keep from talking about what you saw!), and goodies from the treasure vault.
0:40
Outside, we meet two key characters: Mallow and Croco. The former is a cloud that thinks it's a frog, while the later is a purple, top hat wearing crocodile thief. Craziness.
0:41
Fun to note that while it is raining (which ends as soon as you talk to Mallow), all the townsfolk have new dialog. Wonder how many people just run straight to Mallow and never notice a little thing like that?
0:42
Mallow joins the party, and this appears on screen: "The young frog, Mallow, who doesn't look AT ALL like a frog, joins Mario in his quest." Mario RPGs are just about the funniest games out there.
0:43
More funny: when you ask the guard by the town entrance why he didn't try to stop Croco as he ran by, he responds "Because I fogot my bazooka at home! Sheesh, give me a break here".
0:45
I'm in Bandit's Way now, chasing down Croco, who stole a coint from Mallow. This area is just as dull and easy as the first one, so probably not many notes here.
0:49
Level 3 for Mario. I take the power boost this time. I also learn the Fire Orb spell, which I believe is better than useless in a grand total of one battle.
0:52
Mallow to Level 3 as well. Power boost for him as well. He learns HP Rain, which is the only healing spell in the game for a good long while. It's dirt cheap to cast, which means I'm not in danger of running low on HP.
0:55
Heh, my first power star of the game. These things absolutely rock, basically giving you a full battle's XP for every enemy you touch until it wears off. Always a blast when you grab one of these.
0:59
Finally battling with Croco. Rather than just fighting you when you reach the end of the area, you have to actually sneak up on him, as he tries to hide from you. Again, these little minor interactive elements keep things fun.
1:03
Remember when I said Fire Orb was useful for one battle? This was it. It deals good damage, and as Croco is weak against fire, he loses a turn whenever you cast it. Not much else to the battle - I attack him, he attacks me, I heal, and so on. I win and get a frog coin, a flower tab, and a wallet. Interesting decision with that wallet: do you try to find the rightful owner, or do you sell it for big bucks? I'm a goodie goodie, so I usually do the former.
1:04
Something which absolutley every RPG needs to include: a warp back to the start of the level after you beat the boss. This game has it, and I appreciate it.
1:06
Back to the Mushroom Kingdom, which has been taken over by .. wait for it ... Shy Guys on pogo sticks! Quality.
Day Two
1:07
I could really use a weapon for Mallow. He's dealing between 2 and 4 damage at this point, versus the 20+ from Mario. For now, I'm just using his lightning magic spell, because he's useless otherwise.
1:08
Level up for Mario, up to 4, taking the HP boost. Ditto for Mallow.
1:09
I save the guy who owns the wallet from a Shy Guy, and he gives me a Flower Tab in exchange for the wallet. Good enough deal.
1:14
Just finished walking around town, saving various people from the Shy Guys who were attacking them. My rewards include yet another Flower Tab and some money. Plus experience!
1:19
Repeat the above note, except replace "town" with "castle". Best thing in here? All of the treasure chests in the treasury refilled themselves! Not sure if that's a glitch or on purpose, but I'll take it.
1:20
In the princess' room, you once again get scolded if you want to sleep on her bed. Her assistant mushroom guy will heal you after he yells though, which is nice of him. Time to save the chancellor.
1:22
The boss of the Shy Guys is a big sword. No, not the same big sword from the beginning of the game. He's much smaller than that. But still bigger than a regular sword.
1:27
Another simple boss battle, if you know what to do: spam Mallow's lightning attack like there is no tomorrow. It kills the underlings Mack summons, and often will stun him, causing him to miss a turn.
1:28
The pair levels up to level 5, with both also getting the magic boost. I get a star piece for my victory, though what those do or are necessary for is a mystery at this point.
1:30
Mallow suggests we go see his grandpa at the tadpole pond, so I think we know what we're doing next!
1:31
First though, I visit the item shop. Mallow trades in the frog coin we got back from Croco for a Cricket Pie, which we are supposed to give to his grandpa. Yum.
1:33
We're now in Kero Sewers, which takes us to the pond of frogs. As the name suggests, there is plenty of water and aquatic enemies, including Cheep Cheeps. We also see Boos and mice that look a bit like Mousers.
1:35
Mallow, despite struggling to hit for more than about 6 against the Shy Guys in the last area, is now hitting for 30+ and killing things in one hit. That's a bit odd, isn't it?
1:36
Another power star, though I blow this one by only managing to kill five enemies before it runs out. I did probably double that with the last one. Sigh.
1:40
There is a spring right in the middle of the area that takes you back to the start of the sewer. How annoying would that be if you didn't know what it was?
1:42
Full HP/FP restore and a save point, which means a boss is coming up. It's name? Belome.
1:43
I have no idea what Belome is. Some sort of yellow bear/dog head with feet, red markings all over, four ears, four eyes, and a massive tongue.
1:45
In mid-fight, Belome eats Mallow. As in, he's completely gone from my party. That's super.
1:46
He follows up eating Mallow by turning Mario into a scarecrow. This is a status condition that lets you do absolutely nothing except use magic. Well, time to start using the old Jump skill.
1:48
Despite my complaints about the eating and 'crowing, Belome only managed to deal a grand total of six damage to my party the entire fight. Guess it's hard to win a fight when you spend 75% of your turns using non-damaging attacks.
1:49
Mario and Mallow to level 6. Mario learns Super Jump, which is an attack I'll use through the entire rest of the game on bosses. Power boosts this time around.
1:50
Belome, ever the sore loser, floods the sewer upon his defeat. This leads me to the Midas River mini game, where you can collect coins, frog coins, and most importantly, flower point boosts.
1:55
I finish the course with two flower points, one frog coin, and 65 regular coins, which is probably as good as I'll ever do on this mini game. The owner of the course also gives me a NokNok Shell, a new weapon for Mario, for no reason I can understand.
1:57
Tadpole Pond is just insanity. Talking tadpoles, a classical composer mushroom, a master philosopher frog, and so on.
1:58
Frogfucious is awesome. He hangs from a wire from a Lakitu to look like he's floating. He also yells at you if you try to talk to him while standing on his furniture.
2:00
The whole scene where Frogfucious explains to Mallow that he is not a tadpole is great. The music turns all sentimental, and includes lines like "I felt sorry for the little bundle of puff" and "Surely he was more than just an ordinary puff". Ha.
2:02
We are sent to Rose Town, though no explanation as to why is given. Before leaving, I turn over the cricket pie to Frogfucious, and in return, I FINALLY am given Mallow's first weapon: the Froggie Stick. I also go ahead an do the first composition mini-game, which nets me nothing especially useful.
2:08
I have to go through Rose Way to get to Rose Town. Random notes so far: the Froggie Stick makes Mallow actually a somewhat decent attacker, and I an already allowed by the little bandit enemies who run away as soon as the battle starts.
2:11
Past three minutes have been spent trying to do a really tricky jump on quick-moving blocks to reach a treasure chest. Isometric platforming is not easy!
2:18
Reached the end of Rose Way, nothing especially interesting or notable along the way. At the end though, we spot Bowser and an army of goombas, koopa troopas, and magikoopas. He is pissed about being kicked out of his castle and is rallying the troops to take it back. Yea, that probably won't go well.
2:19
Rose Town is being plagued by arrows that randomly fall from the sky and freeze the townsfolk. That kind of sucks for them, doesn't it?
2:24
Highlights from exploring Rose Town: sliding down a chimney to find a hidden chest, new armor for my team, taking two treasures from a guy's house and actually getting called out on it, and watching the innkeeper's kid play with Mario, Peach, and Bowser dolls. That last one is great because the kid doesn't even recognize you until comparing your face to his doll's. I also get a glimpse at the Geno doll, which will become important very shortly.
2:26
The Geno doll comes to life and walks out. The kid sees this, and runs in screaming about it to his mom. The mother's response: "Yes dear, isn't Geno the one who also broke my lamp the other day?" Anyways, I'm not really told where to go next - I think you're just supposed to assume that you're supposed to follow Geno into the forest.
2:31
Plenty of new enemies here, including a monkey that's a dead ringer for Donkey Kong. There are also bees that run away at the start of battle occasionally. What's the point of that?
Day Three
2:33
I come upon a room with six possible tree trunks that I can climb into. I don't think I need to go in them all, but how can I resist?
2:35
Mario up to level seven, get the HP boost. Ditto for Mallow.
2:37
The most bizarre status in the game: you can be turned into a mushroom, which forces you to skip your turn, but you constantly regain HP. It can actually be good at times.
2:42
Everyone's favorite part of an RPG: the repeating room that you can only pass if you take all its exits in the correct order. Seriously, who thinks these are a good idea? At least in this game, if you wander around enough, you eventually find Geno walking around, and can follow him.
2:45
Finally at the the dungeon's boss. I've only been in this place for fifteen or so minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Definitely one of my least favorite dungeons in the game.
2:46
I'll note though, I love the boss of this place. He's literally a bow with eyes, and an army of loyal arrow followers. He talks like Yoda and, as far as I can tell, has no particular purpose in life beyond shooting his followers at people.
2:48
After some great dialog (Mallow: "Who do you think you are, Bruce Lee? You can't go in there with your fists flying!"), I am battling Bowyer with Geno in my party. Geno rocks.
2:49
This battle's cool gimmick: Bowyer has the ability to disable the buttons on your controller. If he disables the X button, for example, you can't use magic.
2:51
Mario's Super Jump skill makes short work of Bowyer. To show how overpowered it is: Mallow was dealing 35 damage attacking, Geno was dealing 60 damage with his spells, Mario was dealing 130 damage with Super Jump.
2:54
Geno: "I'm Geno: "I'm $&!?, but that's hard to pronounce, so call me Geno".
amp;!?, but that's hard to pronounce, so call me Geno".
2:57
I said it earlier, but let me just reiterate: these little bits where Mario acts out part of the story to other people are absolutely hilarious. Mario, Mallow, and Geno acting out the way the Star Road works to the kid with the dolls is great.
2:59
My first totally optional area opens up, called the Pipe Vault. It's a nifty place, with a very original Super Mario Bros feel to it, including a remix of the underground theme.
3:03
Pipe Vault includes a whack-a-mole mini game. I get 20 points, the exact minimum required to get the prize, a Flower Tab. I play again, getting 22 and 24, which are both the new minimums to get new prizes. End result: 30 gold spent to play three times, a permanent +4 boost to my FP and a frog coin. Good deal.
3:06
Everyone levels up. I was keeping track of this when it was just one or two people, but now with three (and more on the way), it's not worth noting every single level up.
3:08
The Pipe Vault exit takes me to Yo'ster Isle, where there are a ton of Yoshis wandering about, getting ready to race. This is one part of the game I don't remember very well; I don't know what the races do for you, or what's required of them. Doesn't matter much, because I'm not doing them now anyways.
3:10
I'm in a new town, Moleville. It's inhabited by ... moles. Couldn't have guessed that, could you? What you may not guess is that the town is built into a mountain, and everyone is a coal miner.
3:12
Ah, finally, new equipment. The new armor, which for some reason also boosts attack, is especially welcome.
3:13
Hidden in the corner of town: Bowser, with a slightly less impressive army than the last time we saw him. Seems his effort to retake his castle didn't go that well. The army's excuse for why they got clobbered is a too-true "We've only had experience fighting Mario!".
3:14
The mine has caved in due to something crashing into it, and kids are stuck inside. Wonder who will rescue them?
3:15
The mole inside the mine, upon seeing Mario here to help out: "Well I'll be a Goomba's uncle!"
3:20
There is a spring in the middle of the mine. Since this is a game and you do things you would never do in real life, I jumped on it. Natrually, I smack my head on the roof of the mine and am knocked out. And what do I see when I come to? Croco, that dastardly thief, stealing my coins. Time to chase him and his thugs down to get my stuff back.
3:25
I've beaten up the three thugs, each of them offering up a +1 to my FP. Now, Croco time.
3:27
Mid-battle, Croco steals my items. This guy is a jerk.
3:30
Well, that was easy. He missed me twice and spent one turn stealing my items. All in all, he managed to successfully attack me a grand total of two times all battle.
3:32
Those kids we're rescuing? Their names are Dyna and Mite. Snappy.
3:34
Woo-hoo, a star power up! I kill enough baddies before it runs out to get everyone a level up. Geno learns the super duper invaluable skill, Geno Boost. I'll be using that one for as long as he's in the party.
3:39
Boss time. His name is Punchinello, and he's a purple ... thing, who throws bob-ombs at you. Alrightly.
3:44
The new Geno Boost skill makes super short work of this fellow. Doubling the party's attack power kind of has that effect.
3:47
Found Dyna and Mite, and the only way out of the mine is by riding a cart. This is one of the coolest parts of the game. It's like a Mode 7 fake 3D thing, which was super awesome back when the game was new and is still fun today.
3:50
That was fun. And luckily enough, the moles whose roof we crashed through are more happy about seeing the kids than angry about the hole in their ceiling.
3:52
In a bit of "well, they had to tell us where we were going next SOMEHOW", a trio of Snifits mention that they need to capture a beetle as a present for someone named Booster, who is entertaining a "princess from the sky" at the moment.
3:54
Before heading out, I buy some fireworks for an insane 500 gold, then turn around and trade that to a little kid for a shiny stone. It'll come in handy eventually.
3:56
Booster Pass is the road to my next destination, and it's wholy uninteresting.
Day Four
4:00
Who is standing outside Booster's Tower? It's Bowser, crying, with no army at all left. And who is at the top of the tower, watching the action below? Princess Toadstool, finally! Bowser joins the party, as we both want to rescue the princess from Booster. Bowser is pretty darn strong, and likely will never leave my main battling roster for the rest of the game. He replaces Mallow.
4:06
Booster is an absolute nutjob, even more so than most of this game's crazy villains.
4:07
Annoying, yet rewarding method of getting a treasure chest: you have to jump from the middle of the tower down to a room at the bottom, hoping to hit a see-saw at just the right spot in order to launch up and nab the loot. If you miss, you have to redo the entire first half of the tower in order to try again. The reward is an awesome weapon for Mario though.
4:11
Another fantastic treasure, this time found by lining up seven pictures at the top of the tower in the same order you found them in at the bottom of the tower. Pretty easy to remember, though you may have overlooked the pictures earlier if you don't know what they were used for.
4:15
Another fun little room, where you can only touch the yellow panels on the checkerboard floor. This normally isn't so tough, except these squares are tiny, and isometric jumping is tough. I get some level ups though, from landing on the black squares, so it's not so bad.
4:22
Finally in Booster's room at the top of the tower, where he has a talking bird and several action figures, including Mario and Samus.
4:28
This mini-game, where Booster and his Snifits try to find you while you hide behind curtains, is awesome. It's also hilarious. I think I may write up a section in the future on just this segment.
4:31
Boss time! If you thought I was fighting Booster, well, I wouldn't blame you, but you'd be wrong. Instead I'm fighting Knife Guy and Grate Guy, two clowns who for some reason are lounging around in the tower. Time for them to see the power of Geno Boost.
4:34
I didn't even bother breaking out Mario's Super Jump - they were more like a mini-boss than the real deal.
4:35
We are now chasing Booster, with the princess in tow, up Booster's Hill. This is another mini-game, which involves jumping on moving barrels and tagging Booster, where you can get a ton of FP boosts now and catch beetles later.
4:38
Plus 11 on the flower points. That's about as good as I think I'll ever do.
4:39
At the top of the hill, we arrive at the town of Marrymore. What's the town famous for? People coming to it when they are getting married. Yep, the creativity runs deep in these town names.
4:41
You can pay 200 gold at the inn to stay in a suite rather than a regular room. There is a absolutely awesome thing here, where you can spend as many nights as you'd like in the room without leaving, and if you spend more time than you can afford, you actually have to work as a bellhop to pay it off. I don't want to waste the gold, so I'm not doing it, but it deserves mentioning.
4:42
Booster has taken control of the chapel, with intent to marry the princess. Probably can't allow that, eh?
4:44
In the basement of the chapel, there are two turtles, a chef and his apprentice, making a wedding cake. If you just on the cake, the chef screams "Vat?! Vat are you doing?!" and the apprentice says "Oh real nice". Little things like this can make a game so much more fun.
4:46
Bowser describes himself as "lightning in a bottle, earthquake in a can" as he breaks down a locked door.
4:47
We follow this by slamming into Toadstool, making her drop all her jewelry, which we now have to pick up before the Snifits do. Booster, on the princess crying over her lost jewelry: "What's this? Water coming from your eyes? Are you leaking, my dear?"
4:49
Ha, princess if freaked when she sees Bowser with Mario. I kind of forgot that he's supposed to be the bad guy in most of these games. Toadstool then asks to be taken back to the castle, which what with Geno's quest about fixing the Star Road, I also had completely forgot I needed to do.
4:51
The two chefs appear with their cake, and are furious to see there is no wedding, which in turn means nobody to eat their cake. They attack ... and so does the cake. Yes, the cake is apparently alive, somehow.
4:55
I kill the top layer of the cake, but I still have to take out the bottom layer. Nuts.
4:57
My 37 jump Super Jump ends the battle pretty quick. I think that's probably one of my highest jump totals ever. Booster finishes the rogue cake off by eating it. Why didn't we try that?
4:59
Toadstool joins my party, replacing Geno. This shall be the party I use for the rest of the game, save one or two special battles along the way. Back to the Mushroom Kingdom!
5:06
After some funny dialog between everyone back in Mushroom Kingdom, and a quick visit to speak with Frogfucious again, the story continues with the party on its way to Star Hill.
5:09
This place has just an insane amount of great dialog in it. The angle on Star Hill is that it is a holding ground of sort for wishes, so you can walk around and read what the people of the world are wishing for. You don't actually get the name on who is making the wishes, but you can usually figure it out.
5:11
"I wish I wasn't such a crybaby". Mallow actually steps out and yells at you for spying on him for that one.
5:13
"I want to be a great plumber like my brother Mario".
5:14
I find the star piece atop Star Hill, and move on towards Seaside Town. No explanation given for why this new place has suddenly opened up.
5:15
Seaside Town is a creepy place, where all the townsfolk speak very slowly and seem vaguely aware at best of your presence. The only exception is the elder, who demands that you find a star piece that sunk to the bottom of the ocean for him. Yea, I'm sure there isn't something evil afoot here.
You like Asteroids, right? Of course you do. Everyone does. It's simple, it's quick, it's fun - everything you love in a retro game. On a personal level, it's probably my second or third favorite of the old school classics, right next to Frogger and Qix. So it was with great pleasure that I found Bounty Hunter SX (BHSX), a modern remix on the classic Asteroids formula.
The general goal of the game is identical to Asteroids: you fly your ship around and shoot down asteroids. BHSX takes this basic formula and expands it out in every which way. Instead of being confined to a single screen, you have a sprawling map to explore, which includes a mini-map to help you find your way around. You can collect minerals and trade them in for ship upgrades, helping you tackle the more difficult targets. And obviously, the graphics have been updated, though I'll admit there's something less charming about modern sprites versus the vectorized look.
The shelf life of BHSX is fairly limited, I'll admit. You'll probably stop playing once you've have fully explored the map and upgraded your ship. It actually has a bit of a disadvantage over the original in that way; the simplicity of Asteroids actually makes it far more replayable over a long period of time. Beyond that though, BHSX is a fun update to the classic Asteroids formula, and will give you a few good gaming hours.
Download [Bounty Hunter SX]
You're plowing your way through Super Mario RPG, having a good old time, when you land at Booster's Tower. This is a nifty dungeon for many reasons, especially because you A) add Bowser as a member of your party, and B) finally are about to rescue the princess after she got blasted out of her castle at the start of the game. Midway through the level, you enter a room devoid of enemies or treasure. At first, you may wonder what the point of it is. Why have a small, empty room in the middle of a dungeon? Of course, there is that one area in the back, covered up by curtains. How could any adventurous gamer resist seeing if there is anything back there?
Those gamers who do check out the curtain with one of the cooler Easter eggs I have come across in a game: your isometric, 3D-ish Mario is transformed into a perfect replica of the original sprite from Super Mario Bros. You can walk around and jump in all your retro glory, while listening to the classic Mario theme playing in the background. Eventually, you'll try exiting the room, at which point you'll be treated to the leaping death animation, followed by Mario scurrying back behind the curtain. You'll then emerge back with your isometric sprite, ready to continue on in the game.
There really wasn't a point to this little feature at all. You weren't powered up, didn't get any loot, couldn't even take your graphical overhaul outside the room. But it was just so cool the first time you saw it. And totally unexpected. One of those things that probably takes about a half hour of development time, but will delight fleets of gamers. Super Mario RPG was great at this, with tons of one-off references to other games and series. Newer games should learn their lesson from this: it's the small things that can change a game from good to great!
About once per year, I'll fire up the NES classic, River City Ransom (RCR). The game is an exceedingly cool blend of platformer, beat'em up, and RPG, and is the right combination of quick and fun that makes it something you can replay fairly often without it ever feeling dull. Each time I go through the game, I might play it a little differently. One run, I'll try to blaze though stages, getting to the end as fast as possible. Next time, I'll try to amass a small fortune so I can purchase all the insanely expensive (if not a touch unnecessary) abilities. However, no matter what plan of attack I bring into a RCR playthough, I always start each game the exact same way: beat up enough random baddies to earn the $26.95 necessary to purchase Dragon Feet from the book shop.
I'm far from an expert on the subject of RCR, but from my point of view, Dragon Feet turn the game from a pretty tough challenge to something fairly manageable for your average gamer. Here's the deal: normally, when you press the kick button, your character kicks. Duh, right? The thing is, the kick is kind of slow, and there's a short delay afterwards when you can't kick again. It's tiny, maybe a half a second at best, but that can be enough time to muck things up for you when you're surrounded by three members of the Frat Boys gang. The solution? Dragon Feet, of course. This magical gift changes the kick button, so rather than one relatively slow swipe of your leg, you fire off three lightning quick kicks, with no difference in the overall time the attack takes. In other words, the power of your kick button effectively triples.
This is great for so many reasons. Obviously, tripling attack power in any game is a good thing. An extra bonus here is that three kicks will just about always knock your foe to the ground, giving you time to plan your next move, or shift focus to another enemy harassing you from behind. A single kick offers no such advantage; an opponent very quickly recovers after one blow. It totally changes how you play the game. You go from just trying to survive each screen without losing too much life to an enemy-killing machine, mowing down everything in your path. Okay, so maybe not forever; enemies do get tougher, and soon enough Dragon Feet is downgraded from "lethal" to a more modest " very useful". Still, for an item you can get at the very first town in the game, that's not so bad, is it?
[Stage] Parappa the Rapper - Full Tank
0 comments Posted by Matt Grady on Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Parappa the Rapper (PtR) is an insanely memorable game. Literally every character, every stage, every song could be the subject of a blog post. It's hilarious and enjoyable and has just about the best soundtrack in all of gaming. I actually had originally intended to do one of my first few posts on the game, but honestly, I couldn't decide which aspect of it I wanted to talk about. I suppose I could have just done the game as a whole, but that's not something I'm trying to do on here (outside of full-fledged reviews). After a couple weeks of procrastination, I said to heck with it, and just picked the first one that came to mind: the bathroom level.
You remember how in Mega Man games, there was always that section right before the end where you have to re-battle all of the robot masters you defeated earlier? The fifth stage of PtR is just the same. The four rap masters of the previous four stages all return for one epic final showdown before you are allowed to move to the last boss. Unlike in Mega Man though, in PtR, they aren't trying to kill you. No no, not at all. In fact, the circumstances that bring them together for one final rap battle with Parappa is about the strangest you'll ever see in a game.
Parappa has a lot to drink. Parappa needs to go to the bathroom. Parappa pulls over at a gas station to use their facilities. Parappa is disappointed to see a line of people waiting to get in. Parappa is shocked when he realizes that the line is made of the the four rap masters he has recently encountered. Parappa challenges the masters to a battle in order to move to the front of the line so he can be the first to use the bathroom. Crazy, ain't it?
It's hard to find much more to say about the bathroom battle - frankly, it pretty much speaks for itself. I'll leave things off with my favorite line of the song: "Ribet ribet, I can't hold it, last toilet that I had, I already sold it". Ah, classic. You gotta believe!
I like roguelikes. Or rather, I like the idea of roguelikes. I can't actually say that I like them, because I don't play them. Why's that? Because anytime I try to, I end up sending the game to the recycling bin within fifteen minutes of my first time starting them up. The learning curve of just about every game in the genre is just too devastating for me. Maybe I'm just too impatient, but if I play a game for fifteen minutes and feel more confused than when I started, I don't keep playing. It's really a shame when it comes to roguelikes, because they have this really stellar retro charm that just keeps drawing me back in to them. So what's a guy to do when he wants to play a roguelike without really playing a roguelike?
Crypts of Despair (CoD) reminds me quite a bit of Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest, and no, I don't mean that as an insult. In the same way that Mystic Quest stripped the console role-playing game down to its barest essentials, CoD is the quintessential roguelike-lite. It's got the turn-based gameplay, random levels (the floorplan doesn't change, but the monsters/potions/doors do), beautiful barely-there retro graphics, one life with no continues, sky-high replayability - all the things you'd expect from a roguelike.
So what makes CoD different from those others that so easily frustrated me? One very specific thing: a vastly gentler learning curve. In the same fifteen minutes that it took for me to be left scratching my head with confusion with a regular roguelike, I had all but mastered the general gameplay of CoD. I knew the power level of the monsters. I had memorized the handful of keyboard shortcuts. I understood my goals and how to achieve them. Basically, instead of having to spend my time learning how to play the game, I could just, you know, actually play the game. And I like that.
Granted, there is one downside from all this simplification: there isn't near the depth you'll find in a normal roguelike. Depending on how strong your "just one more game, gotta beat my high score" mentality is, you may have seen enough after only twenty or thirty minutes. Even if you are as charmed by CoD as I was, I wouldn't count on getting more than a week or two's worth of game sessions out of it. But hey, what do you expect out of a freebie indie game? Who knows, maybe it'll be your stepping stone into a full-fledged roguelike. Probably not in my case - Crypts of Despair is rogue enough for me.
Download [Crypts of Despair]
[Equipment] Super Bomberman - Detonator
0 comments Posted by Matt Grady on Thursday, January 10, 2008
An excellent sense of timing is an important skill to have in Bomberman. Every bomb you lay down has roughly a three second fuse, and intrinsically having a feel for just when it is going to explode can be the difference between a great player versus merely an average one. You'll lay out chains so the first will explode just as you get out of the way of the last one. You'll set down a bomb, wait until just the right moment, then kick it so it'll blow up right when it reaches the opposing player. Yes, a keen sense of timing is a big help in succeeding in the world of Bomberman. Well, at least until you can pick up the Detonator power up.
The Detonator gives you the ability to remote detonate your bombs at any time. You can let it sit there for one second or ten, it matters not. Believe me, this drastically changes the way you play the game. Before, you have to be somewhat cautious, calculating, planning out your lines and hoping to lure your opponent into the line of fire. Now, you can forget about that and just go nuts. Lay out remote bombs as haphazardly as you wish, blowing them up at random. Heave a pile of bombs in their direction, leaving them scrambling to find a safe spot to stand. Circle around them, laying several bombs at even intervals to make them feel surrounded. The game goes from a battle of wits between two evenly equipped combatants to one superior being barraging a poor chap still using equipment from the stone age.
Of course, too much power can be dangerous, and the Detonator is no exception to that rule. If I had a nickel for every time I accidentally blew myself into oblivion during an overzealous attempt to overwhelm a cowering opponent, I'd be one wealthy man. You have a tendency to throw caution to the wind when you have the ability to blow up your bombs whenever you feel like, which in this game, is a sure-fire path towards suicide. Granted, I'm not saying you shouldn't let loose a little - just don't push it too far. Another downside is that it's quite possible to get frustrated with the Detonator at times. Sounds silly, but it's true: quite often, when an opponent narrowly escapes a remote bomb explosion, it's your fault. If you had set it off a split second later or earlier, you would've gotten them! You don't have to worry about that with normal bombs; if you miss someone with those, you can blame it on them for having the smarts to avoid your traps.
Okay, so I'm grasping at straws a bit there. Nobody is going to avoid the Detonator for those piddling negatives. This is the power up that all Bomberman players strive for. Sure, some people enjoy the pure enjoyment you get of the Punch ability. Others may prefer the Golden Flame, sending your bombs' fires to the far reaches of the screen. But deep down inside, I think everyone knows which one is really the best: Detonator.
Final Fantasy VI might very well be my favorite game of all time. It's a classic in every sense, and I'm sure it'll be the subject of many of my posts here. It has a great story with numerous memorable moments, with a vast cast of unique heroes and crazy villains. With so many things I could write about, how would I choose just one to do first? I sat for several minutes, staring into the monitor, trying to decide what choice would be best. Then it hit me: when you have a dozen great choices, it doesn't matter which you pick, because no matter what, it'll be a great one. So I simply went with the first one off my list: Ultros, the the lovable, purple, insane octopus.
It's hard to explain just how wacky this guy is if you aren't familiar with the game. When you first meet him when rafting down a river to escape capture, he appears out of nowhere, and appears to be just another mini boss. Well, except for the random moments when he stops the battle to make jokes. That's probably not so normal. Classic lines include "Seafood soup!" when you hit him with a fire spell, and "Muscle heads? Hate 'em." when he targets Sabin, the martial arts expert. The fight ends abruptly, when Ultros tries to run away, only to have Sabin jump in the water after him. The tide takes Sabin away, the game moves to the next scene, and the player assume that's the end of the weird octopus.
Of course, if that were the case, Ultros wouldn't be so memorable, would he? You encounter him another four or five times throughout the game, with each meeting even more crazy than the last. During the famous opera scene, he appears out of nowhere on the balcony above the stage, threatening to drop a four ton weight on Celes below. After you break it up, what does he do? He decides to join the play mid-show, challenging the hero to a duel because you interfered with the plans of "octopus royalty", in his words. WHAT? Don't ask me. After defeating him, the audience comes at you with a thunderous applause, as they assumed it was all planned. Ultros escapes once again.
Next time you see him? You're searching for legendary god statues, find them, have a little discussion, turn around to continue your journey, and BAM - Ultros falls from the ceiling and knocks the party out. That's three for three on appearances completely out of the blue. For reasons unknown he plans to steal the statues to impress Ziegfried, a treasure hunter of sorts. Don't ask me why he cares about impressing him. You then battle him for a bit, until the young artist Relm shows up and interrupts. Why is she there? To paint Ultros, of course! Ultros tells her to get lost, but eventually relents after the party scolds him for being mean to a little girl, telling her "Uncle Ulty really wants you to do his portrait". Uncle Ulty? Anyways, after Relm draws him, he runs away yet again. Hope you didn't think I was lying when I said each meeting is crazier than the last.
Another few game hours go by, another meeting with Ultros comes to pass. The party is on their airship, heading towards the floating continent, preparing to jump down. But not before Ultros jumps down first, attacking your group. This time he has a pal with him, Mister Chupon, a big pink ... thing, whose main attack is sneezing on you. Okie dokie. What's not different this time around is that there is still not logic in why he is attacking you. Is he just bored? Anyways, the battle ends when Chupon actually sneezes you off the ship, accidentally sending you to the floating continent below, which is where you were going anyways. Most noteworthy aspect of this fight: Ultros promises you that this will be your final battle. Could he possibly be telling the truth?
As a matter of fact, he is. You never have to fight the purple octopus again. That doesn't mean you never see him again though. If you wander over to the colosseum in the World of Ruin, you'll find Ultros ... working as a receptionist! If you do a little snooping around, you'll find out that he lost so much on colosseum bets that he couldn't repay his debt, so the owner is forcing him to work until he can pay everything back. Yes, that's right - Ultros moved from a typical mini boss to an opera wrecker/performer to an art model to a receptionist.
Could there be a more fitting ending to the tale of Ultros?
[Review] Ratchet & Clank - Tools of Destruction
0 comments Posted by Matt Grady on Monday, January 07, 2008
Confession: Ratchet & Clank (R&C) is my absolute favorite Playstation franchise. Seriously. Sure, I love me some Metal Gear Solid, can't wait until the next Final Fantasy, already have the new Devil May Cry on my Amazon wishlist; R&C still outranks them all on my charts. There's just something about the series that makes me flash back to my 2D NES and SNES days. The straightforward storylines, the platforming, the shoot 'em up gameplay. Unlike most newer franchises, this is one I think could've worked just as well fifteen years ago as it does today. So, needless to say, I have been eagerly anticipating the series' debut on Sony's latest console. Does the old school R&C manage to continue its tradition of excellence on the new school PS3? Quite simply, yes. Yes it does.
Control: Satisfactory
First things first: there are actually two available control schemes in this game. I only used the default one, so it's entirely possible that switching to the second may have made things perfect. Seems like the type of thing one would have looked into at some point, but I didn't. Because really, there wasn't much problem in terms of controls for a vast majority of my play time. You run, you jump, you shoot, you converse, you swap weapons - it all works very easily and just as you'd likely expect. There were only two areas that on rare occasions, seemed to nag me. First, sometimes when I was in a situation where I had to spin around a lot (surrounded by enemies on multiple sides, for instance), the camera felt sluggish, and didn't really keep up with me well. I quite often had to reach down and flick the right analog in order to get it to catch up. This didn't happen too often and I don't believe it ever actually caused me any real trouble, but it was still a little annoying. Second, you have two special types of jumps available to you: a long jump and a high jump. Both are done by holding R2 before tapping the jump button. Which you do is determined by whether or not you were running or standing at the time of the action. I found that this determination was a little bit shaky; though Ratchet did what was expected 95% of the time, he did the opposite often enough that I don't entirely believe it to be user error. Unlike the previous issue, this one actually did cost me a couple of deaths, as I would try to jump over a chasm and wind up falling to my death. I'd like to stress though, both of these issues happened infrequently and in general, never really took away from the game as a whole.
Graphics: Satisfactory
I'll admit it - I may have expected too much. I read the absolutely glowing reviews beforehand. All of them described the graphics as serene. Most called it a flagship title for showing the PS3's abilities off. A few went so far as to describe R&C as the closest thing you can get to playing a a Pixar movie. Needless to say, I went it assuming I'd be blown away. Sadly, in case it wasn't obvious from my rating, I wasn't. Does the game look good? Heck yes. It looks a like like you'd expect a R&C game jumping from one generation to the next to look. The style and feel is similar, but objects show more detail, characters animate more smoothly, environments are more busy. Sounds pretty good, though not exactly mind-blowing, eh? The one exception is the cut scenes that begin and end most levels; those are absolutely stellar. Perhaps they were what all the reviewers were talking about when bringing up the Pixar name, because they really are that good. Unfortunately, you can't play cut scenes, so their overall effect on me is limited.
Innovation: Satisfactory
Have you ever played a R&C game before? If you have, then there is nothing new to see here. Oh sure, there's a few debuting characters, some unique weapons, brand new levels. But the general feel of the game is all but identical to that of R&C's of years past. You move from level to level, taking an hour or so apiece. At each, you go through an opening area, blasting baddies to move forward. The path will often split, with one way taking you towards some kind of side goodie and the other towards the end of the planet. You'll get a new weapon or two, possibly a new gadget at each. Every three or four planets, they'll throw in a StarFox-style rail shooting segment. There are also a few segments where you control only Clank, again every few planets. There's a battle arena to go through, though it is downplayed significantly compared to the previous few titles. There are a few grind rail segments, a few areas that focus on platforming over combat. All in all, there is nothing at all to distinguish this R&C from previous R&Cs. Still, taking into account the platformer genre as a whole, R&C still stands out as the most combat-focused, which sets it apart a bit. Most platformers depend on jumping areas, object collecting, and small puzzles, none of which are a major factor here. Summary: compared to previous R&C games, little innovation. Compared to other 3D platformers, still stands out.
Replay Value: Excellent
As I mentioned before, the entire R&C series has a very old school feel to it. Included in that is a pretty high replayability factor. There are a decent number of optional collectibles throughout the game, including gold bolts, skill points, and holo-plans, each of which have their own rewards. Odds are pretty good that you're going to be missing some of these your first time around, so completionists have incentive to go back through some old levels. Your arsenal is massive and fairly creative, meaning you can do a second playthough without getting bored by using the same two or three weapons over and over. In fact, your weapons actually outright encourage a second playthough, as they all have additional upgrades that can be puR&Chased only if you've already cleared the game once. Also along that line, a challenge mode is unlocked after beating it for the first time, which lets you keep your previous arsenal and ramps up the difficulty some. In general though, the reason R&C does so well here is just because of the nature of the game - everything is centered around running, jumping, dodging, shooting, surviving. These are the types of things that lend themselves well to replayability. And in contrast, R&C does not rely very heavily on aspects such as storyline or exploration, areas which sharply decrease in value with each new replay.
Sound: Satisfactory
Voice work is pretty darn great in this game, a trademark of the series. Characters feel full of life, and manage to get in a lot of humorous dialog without it ever feeling foR&Ced or cheesy. Beyond the voices though, sound is across the board unspectacular. Despite having just finished the game, I honestly can't remember a single bit of music that played throughout the adventure. If you're a glass-half-full person, I suppose you could say at least it wasn't bad. Ditto for the sound effects; things sounded pretty much like you'd expect. It's not so bad though, as the 3D platformer is probably one of the least musically-inclined genres out there.
Grade: A
What can I say? I love R&C games, and Tools of Destruction certainly doesn't stray off the beaten path. If you've played an R&C game in the past and enjoyed it, I absolutely guarantee you'll love this one too. If you aren't so much a fan of R&C games, well, nothing here is likely to change your mind. The game isn't too tough, but has just enough tricky spots that you likely won't ever be bored. My first time through took me about fifteen hours over the course of a week and a half, and my challenge mode run (yep, played it through again right away) ran ten or so hours over three days. I've had my fill for the time being, but I'll probably give it yet another run through next fall, to prep myself for the inevitable next release in the R&C franchise.
Although not necessarily the focus of the blog, from time to time I will be posting game reviews. Before I put up the first one (likely this Monday), I wanted to do a quick meta post to explain how these will be done. In general, I'm not a big fan of scores. I don't really mind someone giving a game a thumbs up or thumbs down, or rating on a five star scale. Start using numbers though, eh, that's pushing it. Add in decimal places, okay, you've gone too far now. Is there really a big difference between a 7.7 and an 8.1? Couldn't both games just be an 8? And most of the time, these scores are further broken down into subscores, giving just as arbitrary ratings to graphics and sound and replay value. These areas are certainly important, but if I can't fully grasp a 0.4 difference in an overall game score, I certainly am not going to get it in a single specific aspect of a game.
My reviews are much more simplified, and reflect the way I personally view games. I'll rate a game's graphics, sound, control, innovation, and replay value; rather than give these a numeric score however, I'll rate them as either Excellent, Satisfactory, or Unsatisfactory. Here's a more detailed explanation for what those ratings mean in regards to each category:
Control
- Excellent: from the opening cut scene to final credit roll, I never once questioned anything related to the controls. In general, when I hand out this score, I probably won't have a whole lot to say. After all, when control is done right, it's not on your mind very much. If the game does something especially interesting control-wise though, I may take a line or two out to praise that.
- Satisfactory: there were a few areas which threw me off a bit when I first started the game, though I eventually got used to them. Possibly one or two things never felt quite right throughout the game, though they weren't a detriment to the overall enjoyment factor.
- Unsatisfactory: numerous questionable control decisions from the get-go. A new title in an established genre not using established norms, for example. Very likely that these choices are something I never fully get used to, though even if I do get the hang of them, I can still ding a game here if there is no apparent reason why they were so difficult. One or more control-related areas were a legitimate detriment to the fun I would otherwise be having.
- Excellent: the game looks so good that I'll want to show it off to somebody. If I want to demonstrate the power of the system, this is a game I'll use as an example. Or, on the flip side, the graphics may not necessarily be cutting edge for the system, but they do exude so much style that I probably like the game more than I would if it were using something more standardized.
- Satisfactory: everything looks like what it's supposed to look like. The interface is clean and understandable. Compared to other games on similar systems with similar release windows, it looks fair. Basically, anything that is functional yet lacking any sort of wow factor would fall in here.
- Unsatisfactory: in some way, shape, or form, the graphics actually hinder gameplay. Maybe it's difficult to tell enemies from allies, for instance. Another possibility is that the graphics simply aren't up to snuff for the platform and time period in which they are released.
- Excellent: whether it's a zany twist on an established formula or something completely new, I feel like I'm playing something I've never quite played before. It'll be years before any similarly-styled game can come out without this game being referenced as a likely inspiration. It's quite possible that I have a difficult time expressing exactly what the gameplay is like, if only because I have little to compare it to.
- Satisfactory: same old, same old. That's not necessarily a bad thing though, as standard gameplay traits are usually standard for a good reason. Games can get away with this without much fuss from me so long as they inject their own bit of personality into things.
- Unsatisfactory: derivative. Offers absolutely nothing that other games in the genre don't do as well. A surefire way to get this rating is if at any point during play, I wonder why I'm still playing when I could get everything I'm getting now and more from another game.
- Excellent: without question, I'm playing the game way past the initial end of the story or career mode, whether it's to complete unfinished objectives or just to go through some of the more interesting missions a second time. I almost certainly will play through the whole game a second time, and quite possibly again after that. Occasionally, I may even play through the game again right after beating it.
- Satisfactory: the game was good fun, and I probably will spend some time trying to up my completion percentage before finishing up the initial playthough. After beating it though, odds are it'll go back on my shelf to collect dust for the next year plus. Eventually though, there's a pretty decent chance I'll pop it back in the system to have a second go round, though not likely before the memory of the original playthough has started to fade.
- Unsatisfactory: if at any point during play, I make the decision to do whatever it takes to just get through the game so I can be done with it. If this happens, not only is it a near-certainty that I won't play through the game again, but I just barely want to play entirely through it the first time. I'm probably skipping over cut scenes or ignoring sidequests.
- Excellent: if the game includes some sort of jukebox mode, I'll probably spend some time with it. If no such bonus is included, I may search the net to see if there is a soundtrack available for download. One or more songs get stuck in my head. A sound effect is so cool, I repeatedly perform the action required to invoke it over and over just for kicks. Voices are so well done, they truly add to the characters' depth.
- Satisfactory: no emotion is invoked at all. Music is pleasant but not catchy. Sound effects are as expected. Voices are neither interesting or offensive. Overall, I just flat out didn't even notice the sound.
- Unsatisfactory: if I even once just consider pressing the mute button the remote, it's going in here. The music can be loud or tinny or plain annoying. Sound effects are obnoxious or don't make sense. Voices are unbelievable or wooden, and in turn actually decreased the depth of the characters.
- A: first: a game that gets an A is not perfect. If that were the criteria for getting an A, then the grade would go unused. Instead, an A basically means that after having played the game, I can't imagine having not played it. I'll remember it for years, talk about it with friends, have a guaranteed interest in any sequels. This game alone would be a strong incentive for me to buy a system; put a few of these games on one console, and I almost certainly would buy the system if I didn't own it.
- B: I played the game, enjoyed it, considered it worth the time and money invested. However, it just didn't have that special something. I'd definitely want to own the game, but I may be fine with waiting for it to drop in price, rather than having to rush to the store to get it on release day. I'll probably never check out any fan sites on the internet for it. I'll keep my ears open for news on any sequels, but won't be crushed if nothing comes to pass.
- C: if I paid full price for the game, I'm probably feeling a little iffy about that decision. The game was enjoyable enough, but I probably could have skipped out on it and not been any worse for the wear. There was probably at least one area of the game that I considered flawed to the point where it hurt my overall appreciation for it. I'd probably recommend it to a fan of the genre after it hits the bargain bin.
- D: no two ways about it, I'm disappointed. Even if I got the game on the cheap, it wasn't a good use of my money. Heck, even if it was free, I still feel like I lost some time playing it that I'll never get back. Multiple areas of the game are broken in one way or another. There are flecks of redeeming qualities here and there, but they are overshadowed, whether it be by frustration or boredom. I might still play the game some if I don't really have anything else to do, though I'll be quick to ditch it when the opportunity comes along.
- F: as someone who spends a fair amount of time researching and is not at all compulsive with his game choices, I very rarely add absolute bombs in my collection. However, every now and again, it'll happen. Something will look pretty good, get generally okay reviews, I'll take a shot on it, and will feel sick to my stomach afterwards. I probably played the game for less than an hour before deciding I couldn't take anymore.
So, that should just about sum up what I intend to do with my game reviews. Ironically enough, my goal is to try to keep my reviews fairly succinct, so odds are pretty good that this overview is going to be much longer than my average review post. I do feel it's important though to get across exactly how I'm rating my games; better to have too much detail in this situation than too little.
[Moment] Illusion of Gaia - Waiting in Line
0 comments Posted by Matt Grady on Friday, January 04, 2008
You come upon a building with two doors. The one on the left has a half dozen random townsfolk waiting at it in a single file line. The one on the right has nobody standing around it. You're curious what all those people are waiting in line for, aren't you? So you walk in the right door to see what the hubbub is. As quickly as you walk in you are shoved back out, scolded for trying to sneak in the back rather than waiting in line like everyone else.
So, what do you do now? You know there's something in there, and it's probably something good. Perhaps you'll search around a bit, see if there's another way in. Or you could chat up a few of those standing in line, try to extract a tidbit of information out of them. Eventually, something will happen: the line will move. The person in front will enter the building, and everyone else will move forward a step. A few seconds later, another villager may join the back of the line. At this point, it becomes clear: if you want to get inside the building, you'll have to wait in the line.
Depending on whether you get in the back or sneakily cut into the middle after someone enters the building, you're going to be twiddling your thumbs for three to five minutes while you wait for it to be your turn. Absolutely do not step out of line for any reason, because the people behind you have no qualms about hastily nabbing your spot - there is no "save my place" in Illusion of Gaia. After you've put the controller down, taken a bathroom break, and made yourself a snack, it'll finally be your turn to enter the building. Your reward? A sampling of two potions: the first upgrades your maximum hit points, the second powers up your special Dark Friar attack. You then step out through the same exit door you tried entering earlier, and continue with your game.
Okay, nothing too world-shattering. But you know, I find the whole sequence kind of neat. I mean, how many games make you wait - quite literally - in a line to enter a store? It's actually fairly exciting the first time you do it. I mean, who knows what's back there? All you know is that the townsfolk are really excited about the place, and that if you're patient enough, you can see what's inside. The reason it works so well is because the wait time is not unreasonably long, the reward is actually fairly nice for the time invested, and, most importantly, it's entirely optional. If you don't feel like taking a five minute break when you reach this part of the game, then by all means skip it. Illusion of Gaia isn't so difficult that you'll really miss the one HP boost, the Dark Friar power up isn't exclusive to the location. Overall, just a very interesting, unique part of the game.
Do you often find yourself sitting at your computer with three minutes to kill? As someone who can easily spend twelve or more hours per day at a computer during the week, I know it happens to me fairly often. You need a quick mental break between two tasks, or you want to find something better to do than count down the seconds on your watch when you've got a conference call coming up. This is where Muon comes into play.
Muon is a fast-paced platformer where you have only one objective: make it through ten randomly generated screens as quickly as you can. Each screen contains five boosters, one gate, and any number of blocks, all of which are scattered randomly about. No enemies or traps here - it's just you against the blocks. To clear a screen, you must enter the gate, which starts out locked. To unlock, you must collect the stage's five boosters. That's just about all there is to the game: collect five boosters, enter the gate, repeat ten times, game over.
If it sounds simple, that's because it is. Remember, we're talking about a typical game session of about three minutes here; complicated would work against that. The game is controlled entirely with the arrow keys, which you'll master in about fifteen seconds. Sound effects are fairly simple, but effective. There is no music unfortunately, so you may want to have an MP3 ready to go if you want some background tunes. A more glaring omission is the lack of any kind of high score table. For a game whose entire premise revolves around moving from start to finish as fast as you can, it's really a bummer not to keep track of your runs over time. It's also worth noting that this game isn't exactly what you'd call deep; while it's perfect for burning a few minutes here or there, don't expect to be able to extend your sessions out to fifteen or twenty minutes without getting bored.
Download [Muon]
I played this game as a kid, and remember both really liking it and never quite beating it. Typical difficult yet enjoyable NES game.
Day One
0:01
I name my hero Joven and my heroin Acara. I don't think those are Greek names.
0:02
I start off in Arcadia, and man alive does this game look and feel like Zelda II.
0:04
The enemies are actually a bit tricky to hit. They are so small that you can't hit them standing or even crouching, so you have to wait for them to jump up. Best to catch them on the way down.
0:05
Lots of houses to start the game. In the last one I entered, I am attacked before I can even move by a slime that falls from the ceiling. Annoying.
0:07
After a few more screens of little more than random slime killing, I come across another house. When I enter the lower door, I'm transported to Attica. Yet if I take the top door, it's just a regular house.
0:09
Ah, my first non-slime enemy: some sort of bull or buffalo thing that is actually a bit easier than the slimes. It took a few more hits, but I also suffered no damages while standing there hoping that it would jump up in the air so I could actually attack it.
0:10
Ha, I have entered Zeus' temple, and the only way he will talk to you is if you are crouching - aka kneeling - when you speak. Nifty.
0:12
I've hit the end of the map, where there is a door that takes me to Peloponnes. I have my ass handed to me by the much tougher monsters that appear right away. Hm, I think I'll head back to check out Attica, which I skipped before.
0:15
Lots of houses. Lots of talking. I'm not sure if this is just background chatter or actually important to the game yet.
0:17
New enemies in this area: saytrs, scorpion-looking things, and tiny purple bears that throw spears at you before dashing off. I still haven't been able to attack one before it gets off the screen.
0:20
Found Athena, goddess of wisdom and war. She gives me a shield, which shows up in my inventory. Funny, the hero has been carrying a shield the entire game, and looks no different now. Does this just mean that my shield will now start working?
0:21
Hey, that's just what happened - I now reflect the spears of the purple bears! Still haven't killed one though.
0:22
Music just drastically changed in the middle of walking through one of the screens. Boss fight?
0:23
There is some sort of golem just sitting down at the end of the path. I can't attack him, nor does he hurt me if I walk into him. No clue what I'm supposed to do, so I guess I'm walking back.
0:26
Cripes! I just ran into some sort of Lamia creature, who killed me in seconds. Her arrows, despite looking very similar to the purple bears' spears, were not reflected off of my shield. Let's try that again, shall we?
0:27
It looks like death sends you back to the start of the map - in this case, the very first room in Attica. Because I'm lazy and a bit of a cheater though, I'm just going to use save states (I'm doing one at the start of every room) to go back and try again. As I do this, I notice that dying also halves the number of red jewels you have (not sure what these are for off the top of my head, but lots of enemies drop them - likely some sort of money).
0:28
Fough the lamia again, died again. I did manage to get in four or five hits though, and noticed that behind her, there appears to be some sort of pit. Maybe you push her into that?
0:30
Two tries later, I kill her. Took six hits and I'm left with one life bar. My reward? A cave entrance that contains a small child who thanks me for his rescue. I assume he belongs to one of the houses and that there is a reward if I return there.
0:32
Yep, just one screen over, a woman gives me a staff for helping the kid out. She doesn't know what it does though, and tells me to ask her father. Not like I have any idea who that is or where he may be.
0:33
I try out the staff, and it looks identical to my previous club weapon except it is red instead of brown. It does kill the scorpions in one hit instead of two though, so hooray for more power!
0:36
After checking all the houses again, I finally find the father, the man who supposedly tells me what the staff does. His words: "Prometheus is the only person who knows how to use the powers of the staff". I'll note that I also have no idea where he is either. Time to wander.
0:38
I'm not seeing much else to explore in Attica, as the mysterious golem creature is the only thing I think I haven't figured out yet. Time to head back to Arcadia to wander around there.
0:41
I'm back in Peloponnes, and I'll just say that just because my weapon is stronger, that doesn't mean the enemies still aren't kicking my ass. Those bats that zoom down from the ceiling have been a pain to hit.
0:42
There is a spiderweb that blocks my path, so no exploring Peloponnes right now. I've heard enough people in the houses mention fire that I assume that's what I'll need before I can get past here. Maybe that's the power of the staff?
0:46
The old man in the house I mentioned early on with attacking slime you can't avoid tells me I shouldn't go to Peloponnes until after I've visited Attica and Argolis, the latter of which I haven't been to. I now notice for the first time that there is another door behind him, which probably will take me there.
0:48
A correct prediction! Here I come Argolis! I notice there are eight locations on the map, and I've only partially explored two of them so far.
0:51
I'll say it right now: these bats are harder than all the other enemies in the game combined. They swoop down so fast and as such a wretched angle for you to hit. I'm just going to try to run past them, because fighting one is likely to drain half my life bar.
0:54
Uh-oh, boss-sounding music! Looks like there is a lion, which someone in one of the houses told me was guarding the guy who can tell me my staff's power. Sadly, before I can even attempt to fight the lion, the three bats that are hanging overhead make short work of me. This will be tricky.
0:57
It took about a half dozen reloads, but I finally take care of all the bats without dying. I then kill the lion in roughly two seconds without taking a hit. That doesn't seem quite right.
0:58
As guessed, the old man tells me I can shoot fire from my staff by holding the up button while attacking. Like a Castlevania subweapon, kind of. I guess I now have to get all the way back to Peloponnes?
1:00
I'm already so, so in love with this fire attack. It does two absolutely wonderful things that I couldn't do before: attack the ground and attack from a distance. Both have been incredibly useful already in just the two minutes or so I've been using it.
1:01
There is a second cave to explore here in Atica. While I was planning on going back to Peloponnes, no reason not to check this one out while I'm here.
1:02
The new flame power has done nothing to make the bats any less awful for me. They still rip me to shreds.
1:04
I'm knocked into a pit by a group of three bats. This had not happened to me so far, and I fully expected to die from it. Instead, I just fall down to a lower floor, filled with snakes. Are all pits like this? I wonder if there are a bunch of areas I didn't explore because I never jumped into any pits.
1:06
Arg, the door at the end of the pit-world just takes me back to the start of the cave. Guess I get to go through the bats again.
1:10
I find another one of the temples that house the gods. This one is a tad different from the last two though: the god is replaced by a stumpy little man, who says: "Hermes is gone, summoned by Zeus. Get out of here". Okay, dick.
1:11
I've now reached the end of the cave, a dead end. Boy, I'm so glad I explored this second cave!
1:14
Back in Arcadia, and holy hell, the flame is just as useful as expected in dealing with slimes and tiny bears. Off to Peloponnes!
1:16
Hit by the slime again as I exit the old man's house. It's not any less annoying the second time around.
1:19
Back in Peloponnes, where there are two bats directly above you when you first enter. You can imagine how I fare against them. The fire staff does burn down the web letting me proceed.
1:21
This place is so, so confusing. There are so many doors (which are pretty well hidden, since they aren't so much doors as gaps between the trees) and everything looks relatively similar. I'm thinking I'm just going to wanter randomly until I find something.
1:22
Ha, I walk around for a second and choose a door at random, and wind up in one of the god's temples. I am given a harp that summons Pegasus, though I'm not sure what that means specifically.
1:25
Walking around a bit more, I find a new area with tall branches and thorns. Someone in one of the houses told me I could burn the thorns, but my fire doesn't seem to do anything. Thanks.
1:28
More aimless moving between the screens. I keep finding new things - people, areas - but I still have no semblance of where I'm supposed to go. Or what I'm supposed to be doing, for that matter. Was I just supposed to find the harp, or is there more to this area?
1:35
I've hit the absolute worst part of being stuck in a maze: I've stopped seeing new things. The past several minutes have just been repeats of before, running into the same people and finding the same new areas. Another couple minutes of this, and it'll just be frustration.
1:38
I'm now convinced that I cannot proceed here. I'm going back to explore old areas. First idea: check out pits in Argolis.
1:42
I now officially know that not all pits lead to lower levels. In fact, most seem to lead to death. As far as I can tell, there is no way to know which is which. If I didn't have save states, I honestly think I'd stop playing the game at this point - it's been over twenty minutes since I've made any progress, and I now know that it's possible for seemingly bottomless pits to have a chance to contain something more. Oh well though, since I do have save states, it's not quite as bad.
1:44
I found a new pit to jump down, which have extra-powerful red snakes inside, who occasionally drop their skin. I don't know what it's used for, but I'm going to grab some, because I'm sure it's necessary eventually. There is also an old man who sells me something for fifty olives (apparently, they're not jewels). When I pick it up, it increases my life bar! This is so necessary and awesome for my continued enjoyment of the game.
2:00
I get twenty of the skins, then head out. I very vaguely recall from my childhood play through that twenty skins is what you need. For what, I don't remember. Best guess: a fireproof shield, which has been mentioned at a few of the houses. These snakes were immune to my first attack, so it makes sense.
2:03
New idea: go back to see Zeus in the first area, since supposedly Hermes is with him. What good Hermes will do for me, I do not know, but it's an idea.
2:06
Ta-da, Hermes' Sandals! I can now jump higher, which means I can access the areas I couldn't reach before in that awful wooded maze. Let's head back there now.
2:07
Whoa, these shoes apparently also let you reverse gravity, so you can walk on the ceiling. That has to be useful.
2:11
Found my way back to the thorny area, which I am now able to pass through. It's been a good fifty minutes or so, but I'm finally making progress again.
2:12
Remember how I couldn't burn the thorn bushes? I guess that was just the green ones. There are now red ones which I am capable of destroying. Not sure what the point is, as it's not like I can reach this part without having the flame staff anyways.
2:15
Boss music! According to a person in the tree, I'll be fighting Hydra. But first, let's head back a screen to kill some baddies to fill up my nearly-empty life bar.
2:17
Easy as pie, only took minimal damage. Outside of that Lamia earlier, the bosses have been cake, certainly much easier than the regular enemies. For my win, I rescue the forest fairy, who gives me a new sword. I'm actually iffy on whether or not to use it, as I've gotten pretty used to the fireball powers of the staff.
2:18
I realize I'm not sure where to go now. One of the house people told me a sword is necessary to defeat the cyclops, but I haven't seen a cyclops. My only guess is that one of the other previously unexplorablable areas in the forest houses the monster.
2:23
I reach the cyclops (indeed, in the other unexplored area) with a half of a life bar left. I'm not even going to try. Time to fill up my life by killing things.
2:28
Alright, full enough. Time to see if we have another cakewalk of a boss.
2:29
Conflicting emotions here. Right before the cyclops, if you hit the tree with your sword (I was trying to kill a bat and missed, natch), a life bar boosting items drops down. I'm obviously super stoked, as these are the items that make the game somewhat possible, but pretty annoyed that I just spent five minutes filling up my life killing enemies when this would've done it for me.
2:31
Good gravy, the cyclops went down in only four hits. He nailed me a couple of times, but still, no challenge at all. The difficulty of the regular enemies to the bosses is very much out of whack. Anyways, a new pathway opens up that lets me go to my fifth area of the map, Laconia.
2:32
What. The. Hell. I was just walking along, when suddenly, the floor falls out beneath me and I die. I don't think there was any way to tell it was going to fall, and being surrounded by about a half dozen enemies gave me little time to react. Arg.
2:33
I can avoid the falling platforms as well as most of the enemies if I just walk on the ceilings. Since there are no experience points to be gained in this game and my olives are already full, I see no reason not to pursue this opportunity.
2:36
Someone in a house tells me I can avoid the call of a siren by using my harp. Thank goodness I walk into all of these houses, as I still had no idea what that harp was for.
2:40
Found a pitch-black cave area. Using my fire staff allows me to see. Good, I honestly wasn't liking the sword all that much anyways. It was stronger though, so I'm sure I'll be forced back to it soon enough.
2:41
Uh, like twenty seconds later. Another cyclops is here, and you can't hurt it without the sword.
2:43
Cyclops is dead, though this one took more hits than the last. Reward? Life-bar up! I love these things, you can never have enough of them.
2:47
Apparently not all of the breakaway floors are bad. On the screen I'm at now, one of them dropped a potion-looking thing from the ceiling. Not sure what it does yet, but I'm sure someone in one of the houses will tell me eventually.
2:48
Another breakaway floor, same room, drops me down and doesn't kill me. The inconsistency on these pitfalls is maddening.
2:49
This one leads to the temple for Poseidon, who sells me an ocarina that lets me summon dolphins for sixty olives. There have been dead ends in I believe all of the worlds that looked like oceans, so this probably will let me cross those. There is one right above where I am now, where I got that potion thing, so I'm going to test it there.
2:51
Aye, the ocarina let's me advance past the watery dead ends, as expected. Of course, even these little sea voyages couldn't be peaceful, as there are plenty of enemies on the one water screen.
2:52
Boss music! I'm fighting siren now. Let's see if the harp does anything.
2:53
Might have been the easiest boss fight yet, if that's possible. She started to sing and that dragged me towards her, but playing the harp allowed me to move freely again. I then walked up to her, hit her three times with the sword, and she was dead. Weak.
2:54
I enter the door right next to the siren, which drops me into a black cave. After lighting it up, I have to fight three wizzrobe-like enemies who absolutely wreck me. As I only have half a life bar, it might take a few reloads to beat this room.
2:59
That was a huge pain. Again, why are regular enemies so much harder than bosses? Or were these guys bosses? There was no boss music, but I did get an item for winning: a crystal ball. Someone in a house early on in the game mentioned that there was a crystal ball that makes invisible things visible, so I'd have to presume this is that. Not sure where I'll use it though.
3:06
Back at the first map again, without anywhere specific in mind to go. I do have the ocarina now, so I guess I should start exploring the various watery dead ends. The only one I remember off the top of my head is where I fought the Lamia.
3:10
Nope, that would be the wrong way. Taking the dolphin from the Lamia spot lands me in Phrygia, where the enemies are so insanely strong and take so many hits to kill that I know I can't possibly be in the right spot. It's nice to know that I can come here if need be in case I can't find anywhere else to go, but for now, I'm going to search elsewhere.
3:13
Back in Argolis, which I know also had a watery dead end. I think it was in the first cave. Right?
3:16
Holy crap! There is no sea for me to use my ocarina at, which sucks, but my crystal ball found a hidden doorway. Lucky I didn't go to the second cave first.
3:19
In this hidden door, I stumble onto a fairy who says she was forced into here by a cyclops. She offers me a love letter from Acara. Ha! I totally forgot that I had to enter a female name back at the start of the game. I guess I'm rescuing her, or something.
- At this point, I had to step away for a few hours. When I came back, I had no clue at all what I was doing supposed to be doing. Thanks to a quick check of GameFAQs, I know knew my next step. Yea, it may be cheating a little bit, but I'm already using save states at the start of each room, so oh well.
3:20
Apparently, I need to go talk to one particular guy in Attica after getting the love letter, says the walkthough. I picked a pretty great time to step away from the game, as there was no way in hell I was going to figure that one out on my own in less than an hour.
3:21
Also learned from the same section of the walkthrough: using the harp at the sun statues allows you to teleport between locations. Huh. How would I have ever have known that? Anyways, using the one right next to the invisible door takes me directly to the guy's house in Attica. He gives me a key and sends me off to finally go after that golem that blocks the path.
3:24
Good lord, the golem was just another cyclops. The only thing that made the battle any different is that the tiny purple bears kept popping in from the left to throw spears at me. That was more of a mild annoyance than anything that made the battle difficult though.
3:25
Arrived in Phthia, a name which I am not quite sure how to pronounce.
3:35
This place is near impossible. I'm lucky to make it half a screen without dying. Enemies are very difficult to kill, there are tons of them, they respawn rapidly - I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep going.
3:42
I can't do it. No matter what I do, I just keep dying. Time to take a short break and try again later.
- I decided to recheck the walkthrough, to see if I was crazy for finding this place impossible. It seems I'm not that far off. However, it appears that by beating this section, you get an item that doubles your defense. Now I'm not one to tell the designers how to do their job, but I'm thinking I probably should have gotten that item before coming to this place.
3:45
Okay, by going the completely opposite way from where I had been, I'm able to advance a little bit until I find a room that has a health-restoring waterfall. This also fills up my potion bottle, which essentially gives me two lifebars. Okay, maybe now I have a sliver of a chance.
3:46
I cannot leave the waterfall room without the monkey enemy hitting me enough times to drain half my life.
3:48
I find another temple, in which I can buy a new weapon for 70 olives. Problem: I only have 48. Bigger problem: I'm not in a place where I can make more olives. I've just run from every enemy I've seen since I've gotten here, and sadly, you have to actually kill the enemies to get olives. Hm, so should I suck it up and just fight by the waterfall room until I get enough, or should I trek all the way back to the beginning, where olive-earning is as simple as can be?
4:00
I went with the former. Actually, right by the temple entrance, there were two little bug enemies that I could easily and safely kill with the fire staff. It was dull, but easy enough. Now I have exactly seventy olives, and a new sword. Judging by the inventory screen, it's my last weapon. Better be good!
4:02
I find another life-up item. Fan-f'n-tastic. Why does it seem like I never have enough? I wonder if I've missed a bunch of these along the way?
4:04
This new sword, while doing very little to deal with the massive amount of damage I'm taking, does make pretty much every enemy killable in one hit. Can't complain about that.
4:06
There is this centaur monster on this screen, who is almost certainly the biggest pain in the ass encountered all game. As usual, I'll not that this isn't a boss, but a single enemy. He jumps around like a nutcase and fires arrows, and kills me with very little effort. I think I'm just going to run by him, if possible.
4:07
Yep, it sure is possible. Didn't take a single hit.
4:09
I'm at this big flowery field now, really different from any other area I've been to. I also manage to discover that my new sword can shoot out a little lightning bolt, that while not quite as awesome as the fire staff's fireball (since it travels straight ahead and doesn't hit the ground), it's still great to have a ranged attack.
4:10
I have very quickly learned that using this new sword's power takes away a half bar of life with each use. The game does not stop you from using it when you only have a half bar left, so it is quite easy to kill yourself. That puts a bit of a damper on things.
4:11
Boss music! Looks identical to the hydra I fought earlier, except green instead of pink. Will we have our first truly challenging boss?
4:13
No. The dragon had no attacks at all, instead just flying around the field, hoping to make contact with me. After about twenty seconds, I recognized a fairly simple pattern and dispatched him without taking any hits. My reward is a golden apple, which if I am to believe the walkthough I glanced at during my last break, will double my defense, and not a microsecond too soon.
4:16
I couldn't be happier to report that the apple does in fact word as advertised. It's ridiculously refreshing to be able to move forward while actually attacking enemies, rather than inching my way through the screens just praying I don't get hit.
4:18
My crystal ball and key combine to lead me to the second fairy, who gives me another love letter from Acara. This letter actually tells me something of note, mentioning the sea at Argolis. It's not much, but I'll take any hints I can get in this game.
4:30
Thinking ahead a bit, I spend some time collecting olives in the beginning area of the game. I don't know how many I may need for the next temple, but at the very least I'll have a good head start.
4:34
Hit the ocean, ride the dolphin, arrive at Crete. From the various house people I've spoken to, this place contains nothing but witches and minotaurs. Should be a blast.
4:38
Another maze, just like the forest from before. I can only hope that this time, I have everything with me that I need to get through it all.
4:41
I randomly go through rooms until I find an old lady who will make me a new shield for eighty olives and twenty snake skins. I accept, which leaves me with one olive and no snake skins. I assume this is the shield that reflects fire, though where that will be useful, I'm not quite sure.
4:43
Boss music! This appears to be a minotaur. At this point, I'm not even going to wonder if he'll be hard; that boss music has trained me to assume a cakewalk is coming.
4:45
Wow, he actually drained most of my life! Truly unexpected. Still went down after ten or so hits. For my victory, I receive the third love letter from Acara. It mentions that the door to Hades will now be open. I've heard several people in the houses mention that I need to go to Phrygia beforehand though, to get an important item. That's the place near the Lamia battle, which is where I'm off to next.
4:58
In another temple, I can buy an item for eighty more olives. Arg! I have only five olives left after getting the new shield. Unlike last time, I don't think I'm going to hang around here to try to build up the remaining seventy-five I need. Back to the first area. Sigh.
5:10
Olive collection is going incredibly slow compared to last time. In roughly the same amount of time, I've only gotten half as many as before. Frankly, with the game looking about 90% finished, I don't know if I care to keep doing this. I mean, am I going to see anything in the next 45-60 minutes that I haven't seen already? I really do want to finish, but this tedious olive collecting is killing me. Would it have been so bad to make that shield just cost the twenty skins, and have the other thing cost the eighty olives? Why do they both have to cost so much?
Day Two
5:12
I loaded up the game and started to play, and after another couple of minutes of collecting olives, I just couldn't do it any more. I've played the game for five hours, and about a third of that time has been spent wandering around a maze aimlessly, or collecting, whether it be olives or skins. It's not that I can't tolerate a random resource-gathering segment here or there in a game; rather, it's the percentage of total game time spent on it that becomes unbearable towards the end. Two hours in a fifty hour RPG is fine. Two hours in a six hour action/adventure game is not. Even if I account for the save states I used and the fact that I had played this game awhile back (and thus had bits of familiarity with it), it still seems like no more than a ten hour affair, so the same holds true.
Final Thoughts
All in all, I enjoyed the game quite a bit. Yes, despite what I said above. The setting is quite unique, the music is fairly pleasant, and the graphics are quite nice for a mid-life NES title. It is very similar in style to Zelda II, so definitely worth going through if you're a fan of that. Even if you aren't, it's still worth a go. I just think that it's key to keeping in mind going in that you may reach a point where you get frustrated enough with the game that you can't keep playing it. The olive/skin collecting periods are huge pace-killers, you're likely to be stumped as to what to do next on more than one occasion, and assuming you forsake using saved states, the exponentially more deadly enemies will start killing you frequently as the game moves along. So play the game, but don't force yourself to play it too hard - your mental well being may rest on your ability to just walk away.